you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
