I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
