About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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