All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
