But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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