Your tits are I can't wait for
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
