You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
