just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
