girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I had to cum in my sink.
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