There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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