Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize