I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
