If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
