Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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