So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How does one acquire holy water?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
