whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
