I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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