maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
