either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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