Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
as a side note pls kill me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize