I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I am one with the molecules
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
