You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
