stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize