Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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