would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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