It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
