You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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