i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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