Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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