He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He? As in you personified your dick?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
