Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
