I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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