It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
