How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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