I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
