If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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