just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
