she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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