Non-Jews are for practice
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
