I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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