So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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