I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize