Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
