Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize