Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
