But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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