she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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