you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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