Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
