is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
