A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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