i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
