i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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