@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
