Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
