All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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