What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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