An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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