Your tits are I can't wait for
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
