I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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