I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize