We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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