The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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