We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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