Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
