brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
