How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
