so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
did i just pee glitter
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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