The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize