yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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