u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I want is dick and wine.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
