Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
