the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
