i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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