Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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