The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
