Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
