Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
