there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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