Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
