I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
