i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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