i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
