I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
